Mixed Emotions

It's been a while since I waited for a new job. It took me almost a year to find a job and here I am wondering what the future holds.

It's been a week since I am training for my new work which is monitoring CCTVs outsource. I passed my first week and here I am what would happen this coming week.

We were advised to stay at home starting today until Sunday. On Monday, we were instructed to pack our bags and bring all our necessary stuff because we will live in a dorm together with other staff. This would be weird for me because it would be my first time joining strangers in the same room. All my life I am always alone in my room whenever I work in other countries. When I am in the Philippines, I always stay with my parents. I tried to live alone before in the Philippines and I survived it. But I went back home because I am a family-oriented person.

One thing that I am worried about is that, I am not sure if they would assign me to a female or male dorm. I am worried because females have a lot of issues with each other. I like to stay with the boy's dorm given the chance. I know what you are thinking but it's not that I would be surrounded by boys. Guys have fewer issues when it comes to their roommates based on my observation with my guy friends. They fight today, five minutes later they will laugh together and forget about everything. What I am worried about a guy's dorm is that I am not sure if they are homophobic or not.

I just really wish that whatever happens, I will never have issues with them. I just want to work and earn money, gain friends if given the chance - but never a priority because I want to build a boundary with them too. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

I am also concern about my Online School because it requires the internet and a quiet place. I am not sure if I would be able to do a part-time job because of the dorm setup.

By the way last night, I received a chat on messenger from Jeff. The Pinoy guy I met in Malaysia. We had a fight last October 27, 2019, because he never remembered my birthday ever and that's all the argument about which I am really fed up. He asked last night if how am I, I read the message and didn't respond. Usually, when he sends a message, I really get excited and respond right away. But now, I miss him and think of him sometimes but I lost the appetite for talking because I was never special to him. I am already an adult and I am tired of drama. I just hope that he and his family are okay.