Scared to commit mistakes

They say choose connection over perfection. Some say that perfection leads to insecurity. Others think that being perfect is an expression of fear. Well I would say I'm at a part where I'm scared of committing mistakes. It's 01:37 AM and yes I should be sleeping at this hour, but I can't clear my head and tells me that I did something bad today. I feel like my boyfriend is breaking up with me. So we were exchanging texts and everything was good until he sent a late response. I asked him if he fell asleep and he said that he was preparing the kitchen for 5:00 AM. I was furious and became sarcastic that I told him that I'll just sleep if he was busy. He said that he's done. Although I was pushing him to sleep because it's almost 11:00 PM, he was trying to make amends by saying that he'll sleep later. I felt it but I continued being annoyed because of what happened. He ended up saying goodnight and react a heart button on my gif kissing him.

Why am I feeling annoyed? Because this is not the first time he did it and I was very patient as always. I knew that because of this pandemic crisis, he will become busier and sometimes I don't get a text message from him. Why do I feel that he will break up with me? It is because he left me 3 months ago just because of a small fight. We ended up saying goodnight. Then the next day, he broke up with me. It was tragic knowing that we can fix the problem but he choose to leave me instead. I am scared that he will do the same thing tomorrow. I am crossing my fingers that he won't because he is such a nice guy and he accepted me for who I am. I am always scared of committing mistakes whenever we talk, and here I am again. I messed up the conversation. Should I appreciate the small talks even though I am not the priority? I never ask for full attention, but at least let me know if I need to wait or if you need to do something. Is that too much to ask? I am hoping I will be able to write a good update tomorrow. Oh God, help me.