That’s What you Get - January 30, 2016

So it’s been a while that I was not able to write on my blog. There are many reasons why I never write. But one thing is for sure. My keyboard doesn’t have the letter “R”. So I am definitely having a hard time typing in words.

This has been an issue since September last year, but I never fixed it. I already brought this back to the Philippines last December when I visited my family for a vacation. Maybe I was really focused to spend more time with them instead of fixing my laptop. My lucky Laptop.

What’s new about me? I’m deeply in love with someone I don’t know if he is into me or not. There are many reasons why he will never like me, but there are many reasons why I keep on holding on about him.

His name is Jeff, I met him last year, I couldn’t remember whether it’s between January 20 to 23. Using the powerful technology of WeChat, he sent me a message and he said that Filipinas are beautiful. I was thinking that I am part of those pretty girls. Lol!

Friendly? Yes. I was thinking that he was happy to talk to a Filipino because he is from the Philippines too. So we kinda chat the whole like we already know each other. I was happy talking to him and never realized how he looks like. Total package I must say, tall white and handsome guy. So I started to level up and tried flirting with him. However, I felt like he never likes me. He is just alone because he is an OFW, or maybe bored because he doesn’t have anyone to talk to. He changed his WeChat photo with a photo collage of him and his gf. So I decided to chill and just chat with him whenever he wanted to do it.

One thing, I felt that he doesn’t like about being me is I am not a girl. Maybe if I was a girl, he could have flirted me already. That’s one thing that I’ve been thinking about. It is really a big issue in my country about shemale-guy relationship. I also think that he came from a group of friends who respects him. A loving family who also thinks that his future will be with a beautiful girl. Because he is a straight guy.

To cut the story short, last year when I went back to the Philippines, we kinda lost contacts and I felt that he was not really interested in me.

Fast forward to September last year, he saw me again in WeChat and he sent me a message asking when I came back to Malaysia. He said that he lost his password to his old id then he was not able to contact me again. It’s funny for the 2nd time we had another chance to talk again like we really know each other for a long time. I don’t know maybe it was really easy for him to laugh about my green jokes because he knew that I’m a singer/escort.

There was one time he asked me if I still have a crush on him. I said I like him as a friend, but I never said that if only he knew how much I like him, If only I was a girl I maybe show how much I like him, but I never did it’s because I know my place. I won’t have a more than friends relationship with him.

I use to call him panget, it’s a term that tells him he is ugly. It’s funny that there was one time that we already call each other panget. I must say that it was already endearment. Here I go again, assuming.