Things that "Maybe" I can promise to myself

Ever wonder why people don't trust words and preferred to trust actions?

Well, it may be hard to explain but people lose their trust because of promises that are not kept based on their experience.

I myself is one of the guiltiest people in the world from not keeping promises.

Well, most of the promises are for me. Because I always keep my promise to other people.

This is not good, because we are being bad to ourselves. We are being unfair to ourselves and we ended being hurt by our own broken promises.

I already told myself that if ever that my ex-boyfriend comes back, I will say no to teach him a lesson. But I still accepted him with open arms because I know deep in my heart, I really love him.

We made a promise to each other that in case he already likes someone else, he is free to leave me. But it's been a month since I noticed that he's been changing. I know that I am not the only one, but I kept that feeling because maybe he was just bored in the relationship. We had an argument about him sleeping at all times instead of talking to me, I thought I was demanding or controlling, till he admitted that he already found someone else and he was sorry about it.

I was happy for him, I really was. What made me sad is the fact that he is dividing his time with me and his new girl. I told him that he could have told me sooner because I don't want to invest time and effort into a person who is not completely 100% in love with me.

I knew this would happen. He said before that he doesn't see having a future with a transgender. He loves me but he sees his future with settling a family. That's why we both agreed to continue it until he found somebody else.

You may say that I am stupid, but we all do stupid things for love. Most of intelligent people are single. Funny, but it's true.

With this experience, here are some of the things that I want to promise again to myself.

*If they see their future with a real girl, cut the rope and tie yourself to someone who sees it.

*It's better to be single than to have a relationship that has no assurance of being together forever.

*You are beautiful, treat yourself like a real one.

*Save the tears for someone who really deserve it.

*It's okay to cry, but try not to look desperate at all times.

*It's okay to miss him, but you deserve to be missed because of the things you did for him.

*Basic, love yourself more than anyone else could.

*Tell yourself that you are just drunk the whole relationship.

*Lastly, promise yourself that if a person asked you back, it's okay to say no, but if you say yes, think about things he had done that ruined your life.

Maybe it's best to think about myself more. I am sad, I haven't cried yet after the breakup.

I wish him the best with his new girlfriend.

For now, all I can think of is how to fix myself.

Just like that, another chapter closed and the book is returned on the bookshelf.